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Description: A list with funny quotes from the Thief designers, hidden in a bedroll

Location: on Expert difficulty only, when you finish sparring with the guard, get the key from the table and run past him to the corridor on the left.

QUOTES location1 QUOTES location2

Quotes from the Dark Team 


during the development of

Thief: The Dark Project

Chris: "I don't feel like a nut. Earlier I had no choice."

Mahk: "I should do work. Someone bring me my computer."

Tom: "You know, you're lucky I'm not wearing a g-string."

Chris: "Yeah, well, it's better to suck half as much."

Greg: "...than never to have sucked at all."

Mahk: "Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! I'm the bug fairy!"

Tim: "You're half right."

Dorian (to Mahk): "Where ya goin' with that pumpkin, son?"

Mahk: "Yeah, I just save cows."

Doug: "Just think, around November 5th, it will be tragically funny and suicidally grim no matter what."

Dorian: "Doncha be quotin' me, ya scurvy land-lubber! Arg!"

Randy: "Uh, pirates don't say 'quote.'"

Randy: "It could use some paprika."

Chris: "Paprika's the happy spice!"

Mahk: "I want to take damage, and possibly even shout when I take damage."

Dorian: "That can be arranged."

Dorian: "You know, I'm wearing tights right now."

Tim: "Mahk, you are one queer-ass freak."

Mahk: "You know, part of me wishes that that's the first time someone's told me that this week."

Mahk: "I don't know which flow brushes to delete. I suggest you just blast them all and let God sort them out."

Dorian: "When am I going to start kicking it's ass?"

Laura: "Seven to ten days."

Dorian: "But it's been seven to ten days!"

Laura: "Then you're starting to kick it's ass."

Mahk: "Why don't we all just Xerox our asses and ship THAT?"

Mahk: "So Laura says that my ranting is Environmental Sound and not Speech."

Tim: "What's that buzzing noise?"

Dorian: "It greatly affects one's workflow when one dies."

Mahk: "Guns don't kill people, _slay events_ kill people!"

Tim: "Where does the player arm come from?"

Mahk: "Well, there's a mommy player arm and a daddy player arm.."

Tim: "...and they both love each other very much. And the daddy player arm has a seed..."

Tim: "It may be that he finds the sound of the arrow entering his body slightly suspicious."

Mahk: "Qu'est-ce que c'est le frequency, Kenneth?"

Doug: "Is map.pcx you?"

Mahk: "Uh, it's not _identically_ me..."

Doug: "Well, I didn't mean it in the 'is map.pcx in his office' sense".

Mahk & Doug: "You're a Newtonian grinder!"

Chris: "I'm a what?"

Mahk: "It's like an organ grinder, but without the monkey."

Dorian: "You should have five servings of fruit a day."

Ken, endearingly: "Dorian, you're MY fruit of the day."

Tim: "We want the endgame to be the climax of the mission. And you can't sustain a 

climax for 45 minutes. At least I can't."

Doug: "It may be stupid, but it's a well-oiled stupidity."

Tim: "It has a certain 'Je ne sais quoi', but I don't know what it is."

The Management: "The team bananas will be kept in my office until they ripen, so that 

Mike doesn't eat them. Thank you."

Nate: "I had four of these [points to BIG cup] full of coffee today, and actually saw and spoke 

to God...and he likes how the project's going."

Laura: "My arm won't come off!"

Tim: "It all came down to sheep."

Tim (to Kate): "I revoke your brain!"

Kate: "Your arm's only physical when you're thinking about it."

Tim: "There are no 'licking' attacks in this game."

Kate: "It's an unnatural thing to get back up from the dead anyway."

Mahk: "The physics system is a harsh mistress."

Randy: "Dorian is literal about everything."

Dorian: "No I'm not...'everything' is too strong a word to use."

Dorian: "Nobody uses the word 'ruly'."

Tim: "I know, I'm just feeling gruntled."

Dorian: "Next thing you know, you'll be plussed."

Kate: "It's his butt that has the velocity."

Mahk: "Yeah, I get killed all the time, these days."

Greg: "Hey! Where'd the humans go?"

Tim: "I'm very wary of the dangers of stacking objects, myself."

Guard: "Enough dancing!"

Dorian: "More singing!"

Greg: "There's a fine line between serenity and ennui."

Mahk: "If you're talking about me, I didn't touch the brain."

Tim: "[It's] like fingernails on the chalkboard of your soul."

Doug: "In my level, I've been using a bush and a rolling pin as a lockpick."

Mahk: "The quote list sure isn't going to help me convince my mom that I'm not gay."