Drugs, drugs and violence: A short page about Thief: The Dark Project is an "anti-walkthough", as writer Joseph Morris would have it. However, unlike Thief II - The MeNtal Age, this one takes a satirical look at some of the bugs and other nitpicks and goofs in Thief: The Dark Project, version 1.14.

Drugs, drugs and violence : a short page about
You broke into my house, stole my property, murdered my servants and my pets!
  — Thulsa Doom, Conan the Barbarian


Thief is a fun game of steampunk, stealing people's stuff and thwarting the Elder Gods. It probably inspired the setting of China Mieville's novel, ‘Perdido Street Station’. If you're reading this, you probably know what it is anyway. If not... stop! Come back and read this after you've played the game properly.

The 'walkthrough'Edit

The walkthrough was done using Thief 1.14, from the Sold Out edition. Unless otherwise stated all missions are in 'Normal' mode. This is largely to bypass the 'Thou Shalt Not Murder' commandment found in higher difficulty levels.

Lord Bafford's ManorEdit

Enter by knocking out the drunken guard at the well and smashing the door down with your sword. I've heard of these little shiny things called 'keys' but I don't know what they do. Knock out one of the guards, and if you are so inclined, drop his body into the river from which you emerged. Check back later and he will have magically transformed into a corpse.

For fun, you might consider knocking out one of the peasants on the first floor and throwing their body down the stairs. This will result in a low moan and the aforementioned transformation. I wouldn't save afterwards, though, unless you're playing the 'Sutek The Destroyer' way.

The next step should be to eliminate all resistance. Go through each floor killing all the swordsmen. This is made easier by utilising the pool. You see, when you're in the water, no-one can see you. You can, therefore, smite the guards with your sword and jump back into the water before they can retalliate. If you emerge the opposite side of the pool, it will help tremendously. The pool also has that tremendous ability to conceal OTHER things, like corpses. Not that you should be putting ALL your victims in the pool, since leaving one or two of them in plain sight on the patrol routes is a surefire way to drive the survivors into a frenzy, which makes for a good deal of excitement.

And of course, you don't have to be dead to be allowed into the pool. Other things, such as vases, plates, bottles of drink and anything else which you can't stuff into your sack and sell later can also go into the pool. Man, I'd love to be watching when Lord Bafford comes home.


"Maybe you could just... throw me into the pool... or something..."

On the top floor are a number of tougher guards, dressed in golden armour. One of these is presumably prowling around, waiting for you to show up after all the ruckus and murder down below.

You can use a variation on the pool technique by duking it out in Lord Bafford's bath, which can provide a lot of fun. Especially as you can only start to attack by jumping first (Garrett won't fight in water!).


Finally, you can leave the corpse in the bath as another fun surprise for Lord B.

When you're done, loot the place bare.

The most important room is of course, the throne room, which contains the sceptre, but you don't actually want to go in there until everything else that isn't nailed down has been crammed into your happy-bag.

There are a few different ways to approach the throne room. The first, is Deus-Ex style. Knock on the door and ask to be let in using your sword. When the guard opens it, deal with him and slip through.

Alternatively, you can open the door more quietly by some other means. Once inside, alert the guards to your presence using the gongs provided for that purpose. Then, as the guards move to slay you, pick up the Sceptre and vanish with a swirl of your cloak.

IDM: Shouldn't you be hiding those dead guards?
JPM: I don't know. What does "hiding" mean?
IDM: It's when you take their hides as a trophy.

The Mines of MoiraEdit

In the mines, try to find the power module, which features elyctrically-charged particle clumps moving between the two prongs. Unfortunately you can't elyctrocute yourself (or the Zombies).

Sulk voice: I guess I'll have to save the world then.


But before we can save the world we have to endanger it, and before we can do that we have to make a name for ourselves. And before we can do that we have to get revenge on Cutty and steal the data on his latest project.

Try not to kill Hammerites where it can be avoided, since they are, after all, only fascist loonies. Knock them out instead. There will come times when avoidance is impossible, and, like a mad dog, the hammerite will have to slain as humanely as possible. Besides, we'll need their help later.

If you aren't constrained by anything as human as morality, you can go totally berserk and wipe out the entire prison complex, which I did the first time around, before I knew better. If this interests you, a useful approach is to use the freight elevator. Unfortunately you can't actually squash the Hammerites beneath it as was done in System Shock 2 with the protocol 'droids, but you can lure them up to the lift, and then stand on it, rendering yourself invisible. You can then lash out at the Hammerites and throw the bodies down the lift-shaft into a heap before going to find some more.


"Look.. a body!"

The machine-room. Once the Hammerites are removed, you can play with the machinery, and even make some hammers. Unfortunately you can't wield the hammers like the Hammerites do (that would be too easy!). You can, however, crash the Hammerite machinery. Make a hammer, and then make another one without removing the first one.

The sensors are jammed and the vat keeps on pouring the gurgling molten steel forever. Do this for all three of them.


Kill or otherwise incapacitate the High Priest. Leave the altar boy alone, he can't harm you. Instead let him follow you around, yelling threats and obscenities at you. If he becomes a nuisance, club him.


"Receive thy pounding!"
"Shut up."

Take out prison wings 1-3 first. Free all the prisoners, who stumble and babble. Be patient when they get in your way, and remember that you used to be a prisoner too, once, before you left the asylum.

Now go directly to Felix' map which is in the guardroom. Once this be done, go to wing 4 and turn everyone else loose.

Cutty will stay put, but try to make sure the heretic opposite (the loony with the fireballs) doesn't try to murder him.

Go into the cell and shut the door behind you. The hammerites will try to slay you but they can't open the cage. They will however, still try to pummel you through the jail door, with some success.


Cutty will explain about the map and then promptly die 'neath righteous punishment.[1] As he slumps to the ground, the hammerites will see it and shout 'Look.. a body! Murder!' or some such nonsense.

And suddenly, with the situation at its most bleak, with Garrett imprisoned and the only way out blocked by a horde of murderous hammerites determined to smash his skull, Garrett wishes himself out of the jail cell and escapes. As if by magic.


"I see the fear in thine eyes!!"
"Oh, piss off!"

The Quin of HorntusEdit

The horn quest is nondescript and quite boring.

There are a few interesting items, such as the magic face that yells at you, but the only real fun to be had is at the end, when you grab the horn.

Try to time it so that you can leap off the tower and the mission ends before your body splatters everywhere.




After the horn comes Ramirez. Make sure you buy some health potions though, as there don't seem to be any in the map.

If anyone has been able to jump in front of Farkus and take the bullet for him, I'd really like to hear from you!

You don't really need my help to make this one a fun mission.

Trash the place.

Take all the money and the loot.

Kill all the guards.

Kill Ramirez and take his place.

Kill everything.

If you have time, go outside after the place is entirely yours and the guards are all dead.

Outside there are various street patrols and so on, who are only too happy to fight. You can spend hours, even days, getting lost in the gigantic city map and annihilating all resistance.

The Sword That Was To Place Him On The ThroneEdit

Kill one of the guards and enter through the back room.

Do this by using a rope arrow on the timber beams supporting the roof, and haul yourself up to the balcony. Bring the dead guard with you. As you emerge from the guardroom, you should see a hole in the corridor. Throw the body down the hole and jump up and down so the guards hear you.



Stay near the hole, and eventually a guard will see the body. Try and work your way down to the lower level, and kill another guard. Leave a trail of bodies for the others to find, and try to be within hearing range when they do. We want to have a really high number of 'Bodies found' on the stats page!

Wander around, nicking things and looking for the Sword. Our careful hiding of the dead guards in plain sight will have driven the survivors into a frenzy of hatred, which makes them do unpredictable things. If you're really good, you should be able to get at least some of the guards killed off by the house's own internal defence systems.

The upper levels of the house are really, really cool, involving optical illusions, rooms upside-down and sideways, Escherisms and rooms that hang in space. It's a shame the Thief engine doesn't seem to support portal mechanics or they could have done some serious pan-dimensional work, with two rooms occupying the same space, or rooms that are bigger on the inside.


MC Escher is in da house

The Cathedral, Part 1Edit

Go directly to the Keeper's sanctum. Do not pass go, do not go near the Cathedral. When you've done this, you'll still need to gather up some loot.


  1. *And for those of you who live in Neath... I'm very sorry to hear that.

External LinksEdit