This is a list of messages from the Thief Design Team. It is disguised as a common Bedroll in the secret basketball court of the Keeper Compound.


Quotes from the Dark Team during the development of Thief: The Dark Project

Chris: "I don't feel like a nut. Earlier I had no choice."

Mahk: "I should do work. Someone bring me my computer."

Tom: "You know, you're lucky I'm not wearing a g-string."

Chris: "Yeah, well, it's better to suck half as much."

Greg: "...than never to have sucked at all."

Mahk: "Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! I'm the bug fairy!"

Tim: "You're half right."

Dorian (to Mahk): "Where ya goin' with that pumpkin, son?"

Mahk: "Yeah, I just save cows."

Doug: "Just think, around November 5th, it will be tragically funny and suicidally grim no matter what."

Dorian: "Doncha be quotin' me, ya scurvy land-lubber! Arg!"

Randy: "Uh, pirates don't say 'quote.'"

Randy: "It could use some paprika."

Chris: "Paprika's the happy spice!"

Mahk: "I want to take damage, and possibly even shout when I take damage."

Dorian: "That can be arranged."

Dorian: "You know, I'm wearing tights right now."

Tim: "Mahk, you are one queer-ass freak."

Mahk: "You know, part of me wishes that that's the first time someone's told me that this week."

Mahk: "I don't know which flow brushes to delete. I suggest you just blast them all and let God sort them out."

Dorian: "When am I going to start kicking it's ass?"

Laura: "Seven to ten days."

Dorian: "But it's been seven to ten days!"

Laura: "Then you're starting to kick it's ass."

Mahk: "Why don't we all just Xerox our asses and ship THAT?"

Mahk: "So Laura says that my ranting is Environmental Sound and not Speech."

Tim: "What's that buzzing noise?"

Dorian: "It greatly affects one's workflow when one dies."

Mahk: "Guns don't kill people, _slay events_ kill people!"

Tim: "Where does the player arm come from?"

Mahk: "Well, there's a mommy player arm and a daddy player arm.."

Tim: "...and they both love each other very much. And the daddy player arm has a seed..."

Tim: "It may be that he finds the sound of the arrow entering his body slightly suspicious."

Mahk: "Qu'est-ce que c'est le frequency, Kenneth?"

Doug: "Is map.pcx you?"

Mahk: "Uh, it's not _identically_ me..."

Doug: "Well, I didn't mean it in the 'is map.pcx in his office' sense".

Mahk & Doug: "You're a Newtonian grinder!"

Chris: "I'm a what?"

Mahk: "It's like an organ grinder, but without the monkey."

Dorian: "You should have five servings of fruit a day."

Ken, endearingly: "Dorian, you're MY fruit of the day."

Tim: "We want the endgame to be the climax of the mission. And you can't sustain a climax for 45 minutes. At least I can't."

Doug: "It may be stupid, but it's a well-oiled stupidity."

Tim: "It has a certain 'Je ne sais quoi', but I don't know what it is."

The Management: "The team bananas will be kept in my office until they ripen, so that Mike doesn't eat them. Thank you."

Nate: "I had four of these [points to BIG cup] full of coffee today, and actually saw and spoke to God...and he likes how the project's going."

Laura: "My arm won't come off!"

Tim: "It all came down to sheep."

Tim (to Kate): "I revoke your brain!"

Kate: "Your arm's only physical when you're thinking about it."

Tim: "There are no 'licking' attacks in this game."

Kate: "It's an unnatural thing to get back up from the dead anyway."

Mahk: "The physics system is a harsh mistress."

Randy: "Dorian is literal about everything."

Dorian: "No I'm not...'everything' is too strong a word to use."

Dorian: "Nobody uses the word 'ruly'."

Tim: "I know, I'm just feeling gruntled."

Dorian: "Next thing you know, you'll be plussed."

Kate: "It's his butt that has the velocity."

Mahk: "Yeah, I get killed all the time, these days."

Greg: "Hey! Where'd the humans go?"

Tim: "I'm very wary of the dangers of stacking objects, myself."

Guard: "Enough dancing!"

Dorian: "More singing!"

Greg: "There's a fine line between serenity and ennui."

Mahk: "If you're talking about me, I didn't touch the brain."

Tim: "[It's] like fingernails on the chalkboard of your soul."

Doug: "In my level, I've been using a bush and a rolling pin as a lockpick."

Mahk: "The quote list sure isn't going to help me convince my mom that I'm not gay."


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.